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Ask for What You Want, B

Ask for What You Want, But Don't Demand It

by Philip Campbell, CPA

Copyright 2003, Philip Campbell - All Rights Reserved

Every now and then you read an article or a book that changes your life in a big way.  When a certain principle or suggestion jumps off the page at you.  When you know you’ve just learned something that will change your life immediately. 

I was fortunate about fifteen years ago to have that very experience.  A very simple principle that has made an incredible difference in my life.  It has also helped thousands of other people think and act with confidence. 

You can benefit from this principle immediately.  Make this principle a part of your life for the next two weeks.  Write down ways you can use this principle to get what you want.  You deserve it - Go for it.

A Principle that Will Change Your Life Immediately

Ask For What You Want – But Don’t Demand It
Read that sentence one more time.  This is a very, very important principle to live by.

The first part of the statement – Ask for what you want – is something many people are uncomfortable with.  Most people were raised to believe that asking for what you want is rude.  In the work place, a person (especially if they are not in a supervisory or management position) who asks for what they want is considered out of place, aggressive, a problem child, etc.

The fact of the matter is that it is absolutely critical that you ask for what you want.  The alternative is to walk around hoping that someone will read your mind or figure out what you want.  Don’t put others in the position of needing to be a mind reader.  It’s a losing proposition.  

The most effective way to get what you want is to ask for it in very plain and very clear terms. 

The second part of the statement – But Don’t Demand It – is also critical to getting what you want.

Think about a time when someone asked you for what they wanted, but did it in a way where they were actually demanding they get it.  Often times a person asks for what they want.  That’s good.  The problem is, either through their words or just their body language, they are actually saying – this is want I want, Or Else!  You better give it to me.

I have had plenty of people do that very thing to me over the years, especially at work.  Without even thinking about it I instantly resist.

The part of me that doesn’t think logically all the time says – “you must be crazy if you think you are going to force me to do ANYTHING, much less honor your demand”.  

Now, this is probably not a very logical reaction, but it is the reaction almost every person on the planet has when someone else demands they get what they want.  It's almost as if a demand like that sends out a signal to those hearing the demand.  The signal says, please do everything you can to make sure I DO NOT get what I want.  A demand actually creates negative energy which works to defeat the goal.

When you demand something you ARE being rude.  That’s the reason why so many of us where raised not to ask for what we want.  The problem is we would have been much better off it we would have been taught not to DEMAND something.  That is really the point.  That would have been excellent advice.  Asking for what you want is smart, demanding it is not.

The good news here is that when you ask for what you want, and you do in the right way, you have just distinguished yourself from most everyone other person around you.

Whether you are an employee, or self-employed, you have set yourself out from others in a very positive way and dramatically increased the likelihood that you will get what you want.  

The person you are asking may not even realize the subtle difference in your approach.  But they will feel differently about your request.  They will want to help you get what you want.  It is a natural and predictable response when you ask for what you want the right way.

Action Steps for the Next Two Weeks

Try this out over the next two weeks.

Before you ask for something, write down exactly what you want and rehearse how you will present it.  Make sure you are using words, communicating with your body, and using a tone of voice that says clearly that you are not demanding anything.

I know you will discover how powerful this principle is in helping you get exactly what you want in business and in life.

 Ask for what you want – But Don’t Demand it.

About Philip Campbell
Philip Campbell is a CPA and the author of the book: “NEVER RUN OUT OF CASH, The 10 Cash Flow Rules You Can't Afford to Ignore”.  Philip has helped hundreds of business owners take control of their cash flow.  He shows you how to eliminate your cash flow worries and take control of your business.  Is your cash flow under control?  You can download his new Special Report "The Secret to Creating Cash Flow Projections You Can Trust" FREE Right Now. Click Here to get your copy NOW.